Joy and Sorrow

It's an interesting experience to be full of joy and simultaneously weighed down by deep melancholy.  It's both interesting and dreadful.  It's the reality of living with a chronic mild depression - diagnosed as Dysthymia - also known as neurosis. 

Yesterday while I was at church I was experiencing that beautiful sense of union with God, the Eucharist, and the congregation.  I am so grateful to be serving at my church, and I was feeling that gratitude at the deepest level.  What a wonderful way to celebrate our Lord's resurrection.  Yet, every now and then, for a few seconds each time, I would be pulled down into the mudhole of sorrow and melancholy.  Crap!  How can I feel both at the same time?